Saturday, February 23, 2008

Batch 5

  • Pakistan’s government re-stabilizes. India welcomes back its neighbor after 61 years of “teenage angst”.
  • The moon’s recently stabilized atmosphere results in rising settler numbers. China plans to relocate booming pollution industry.
  • “Made in China” becomes popular vernacular for "dangerous product". China bans internet searches of the word “China”.
  • Report on easiest majors released. Communications students given extra credit for rebuttals submitted days prior to due date.
  • Marijuana found to have several negative long term health effects. America takes harder line against possession. Jewish Zionist movement revitalized.

2 Comments:

Blogger Nick said...

this shit is gold.

I suggest doing One headline a day for the sake of the blog's longevity and to ease the cells of your brain.

10:05 AM  
Blogger Matthew said...

Brian these are really funny. I agree with Nick, share your wit with the (internet) world

9:37 PM  

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